All my love. ALWAYS.

I'm cleaning my room and sorting through a box full of things from the old Jeep.

I always find little notes from Aunt Ruth laying around. She always sent them in the mail and I would hold onto them because I KNEW times would get rough once she was gone, couldn't bring myself to throw them in the trash cause they meant something and there were so many. I LOVE that I find them. I usually find them when i'm having a bad day or I need a pick-me-up. It's kind of like God is reminding me that she loved me so much and she's looking down over me.

So, anyway, I found one in the box from the Jeep. In this particular one she wrote several verses and sentences all around the envelope. I almost wish there was a date somewhere because I have no idea what year this came from, but it reads:

"Megan, God has made you special. All my love always - Aunt Ruth

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you. Joshua 1:5

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and I will listen to you, you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11"

She was pretty good about knowing verses, but I went ahead and opened her bible. As I opened it I down-poured with emotions. The smell of Aunt Ruth was sealed inside the bible case. I have grown further and further from God and no one would be more disappointed in me than Aunt Ruth. I need to get back to where I was. As I turned to Joshua the paragraph was underlined. As I turned to Jeremiah this paragraph was also underlined. Most of her bible has very detailed explanations of what she believed or underlines on certain verses. I know I found these verses for a reason. It's just what I needed.

I hate that I've grown so far from the Lord. I hate that I don't pray except when I need something. I hate that I don't go to church because I can't make time. It's like a friendship that I feel like I'm failing at. I vow to try harder... starting right now.


As long as I'm living...