Sickly.

Being sick is literally disgusting.
I am trapped. Stuck. Stomach bugs are no fun and I think this is the first one I've had since I can even remember. It's like I'm wasting my whole day away laying around because I feel like if I move I will get sick again. I hate this. I haven't eaten in 24 hours because I don't feel like it. I haven't moved from my apartment in 10 hours. To top it off, it's Friday. No, Rebecca Black, I do not "gotta get down on Friday" because I can't.

Things I have done today:
1) Got up at 620 and went to work.
2) Threw up my guts.
3) Left work at 11.
4) Deposited my check.
5) Napped for five hours.
6) Thought about how the Wrangler is still leaking. Looked it up on the Wrangler Forums and might have found a solution.
7) Pottied Elvis (This was a huge deal for me to even get up to go downstairs. Judge away.)
8) Caught up on all my Hulu shows.
9) Watched a movie on Netflix.
10) Got some more music from the great website my bestfriend showed to me and made playlists that are titled "Jeepin'" and "SUMMA 12. wadduppp"

So. theres. that.
Can this please be over by tomorrow? I don't want to waste my Saturday away too.
Also, heres hoping I sleep tonight.

All my love. ALWAYS.

I'm cleaning my room and sorting through a box full of things from the old Jeep.

I always find little notes from Aunt Ruth laying around. She always sent them in the mail and I would hold onto them because I KNEW times would get rough once she was gone, couldn't bring myself to throw them in the trash cause they meant something and there were so many. I LOVE that I find them. I usually find them when i'm having a bad day or I need a pick-me-up. It's kind of like God is reminding me that she loved me so much and she's looking down over me.

So, anyway, I found one in the box from the Jeep. In this particular one she wrote several verses and sentences all around the envelope. I almost wish there was a date somewhere because I have no idea what year this came from, but it reads:

"Megan, God has made you special. All my love always - Aunt Ruth

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you. Joshua 1:5

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and I will listen to you, you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11"

She was pretty good about knowing verses, but I went ahead and opened her bible. As I opened it I down-poured with emotions. The smell of Aunt Ruth was sealed inside the bible case. I have grown further and further from God and no one would be more disappointed in me than Aunt Ruth. I need to get back to where I was. As I turned to Joshua the paragraph was underlined. As I turned to Jeremiah this paragraph was also underlined. Most of her bible has very detailed explanations of what she believed or underlines on certain verses. I know I found these verses for a reason. It's just what I needed.

I hate that I've grown so far from the Lord. I hate that I don't pray except when I need something. I hate that I don't go to church because I can't make time. It's like a friendship that I feel like I'm failing at. I vow to try harder... starting right now.


As long as I'm living...