ESWIE & ATS

It's been a long time since music has made me feel the way I felt tonight. I sound like a typical dramatic girl, but the last time I remember this feeling was when I listened to Lovedrug in 2008. I just can't even explain it. I mean, sure, I listen to music and love it. Most music doesn't make me feel like it's changed my life in the first listen, though.

I remember when I listened to this song in 08. I just sat there in awe, had a few emotions, jumped up, got in my Jeep, drove to Best Buy and purchased this entire album.

Lovedrug. Everything Starts Where It Ends.

Cartel has been my favorite band since 2007ish. When I say favorite band, I mean it. When I heard they were coming out with a new album I almost lost it. Tonight, I was anxiously waiting for Cartel's new album, Collider, to release on iTunes. I had pre-ordered it just hours before. I got an email that said it released and I treaded downstairs with my Mac and all electronic devices as fast as I could. So, I'm sitting here on my living room floor listening to the new album on repeat while uploading the new songs to every device I have. A Thousand Suns comes on and I'm overcome by this familiar feeling. I can't even move to the next new song, because I have to keep listening. An hour later, I've successfully listened to every song once and I keep coming back to A Thousand Suns. Six times, in fact. I wish I could link the song on here, but it's not on youtube. Don't just go look up the lyrics. It's not the same. The sound makes the song, not just the lyrics. Go buy their album, you won't be disappointed. 

It's good to know I'm growing older but music is still changing my life.

It'll be alright

It's been a while.

You know when you feel like everyones moving on except for you? Like you're standing still and the world is spinning faster than ever? Like everything seems to be going wrong? I was packing to go see Tayloh in Norman tomorrow and THIS song came on:

.

Everything felt alright in the world again. Cliché? Maybe. 

But seriously...

When you feel like everyones changing and you're standing still

When you feel like everything's going wrong

When you feel like things can't get any worse

When you feel like you'll never move on

When you feel like everyone else is growing up...

the sun ALWAYS ends up rising.

It'll be alright.

Logo, Name, Facebook (Photo career)

When people tell me I'm good at my photography it's hard for me to agree.
It's hard for me to tell people I'm good.
BUT when I look back down my photography path I realize I've come SO far.
Then I can say I know I'm better than when I started.

Changes are literally coming sooner than what ya'll think.
Keep your eyes peeled.

-Logo
-Name
& Facebook are in the works.

Wouldn't be where I am without some of my family and some VERY good friends. Friends who believe in me and what I do, because, like I said, it's hard for me to be conceded in what I do.

Lindseys photoshoot 6/16/12

Yesterday I took Lindsey to my dads property in Deer Creek to shoot some photos of her. It's been a while since I had my last photoshoot with a friend and I honestly missed it.
Everytime I get ready to leave my house for a photoshoot I almost forget something. I think out loud to myself: "Wow, Megan, you aren't ready to be a photographer. What were you thinking?"
Then I do my photoshoot and come home and can't wait to start editing. I think I edit too fast because I'm too excited to share my pictures with everyone, which could be a problem in the long run for me.
Then I post them and go back through all the pictures and I think to myself: "I'm ready. I've never been more ready."
Anyway. Here are some shots from yesterday. It's so hard for me to choose just a few to upload, but the rest are located on my Flickr or my Facebook. Click either link to view them. Of course, Flickr has the better resolution. As always.

Lindsey was so easy to shoot. She is basically my little sister separated at birth. She loves the camera and it's a mutual love. I only had to throw out a few pictures. She's a pro!

Without further adieu..

and my two favorites: 

Sickly.

Being sick is literally disgusting.
I am trapped. Stuck. Stomach bugs are no fun and I think this is the first one I've had since I can even remember. It's like I'm wasting my whole day away laying around because I feel like if I move I will get sick again. I hate this. I haven't eaten in 24 hours because I don't feel like it. I haven't moved from my apartment in 10 hours. To top it off, it's Friday. No, Rebecca Black, I do not "gotta get down on Friday" because I can't.

Things I have done today:
1) Got up at 620 and went to work.
2) Threw up my guts.
3) Left work at 11.
4) Deposited my check.
5) Napped for five hours.
6) Thought about how the Wrangler is still leaking. Looked it up on the Wrangler Forums and might have found a solution.
7) Pottied Elvis (This was a huge deal for me to even get up to go downstairs. Judge away.)
8) Caught up on all my Hulu shows.
9) Watched a movie on Netflix.
10) Got some more music from the great website my bestfriend showed to me and made playlists that are titled "Jeepin'" and "SUMMA 12. wadduppp"

So. theres. that.
Can this please be over by tomorrow? I don't want to waste my Saturday away too.
Also, heres hoping I sleep tonight.

"You were putting on a show, so I'd rather be alone"

We Are The In Crowd is my new favorite musical obsession.
Helping me get over things.
Helping me move forward.
Helping me realize I deserve better.

Dear Mom,

Here it comes. My "Dear Mom," post. All the things I would love to tell my beautiful mother. All the things I pray she knows. All the things I usually try to keep to myself. Lies I tell people and wishes I have.

My beautiful and caring mother passed away before I even celebrated my first birthday. The anniversary of her death was last week. I was lucky enough to be in Arkansas surrounded around people who have memories with her and I visited her grave. I've never been able to do that on April 15th. It really helped being around so many people who loved her.

I never knew I could love (and miss) someone without remembering them. Then, I think about my mom and I realize I do. When I was growing up, I would often hear people tell me I looked (and acted) just like my Mother. I still do every now and then. I start to hear it less now, though, because fewer people knew my mom. My greatest fear is when everyone who knew my mom joins her in heaven. What happens when I have questions about her? How will they get answered? They won't. That's what I'm dreading the most.

I'm stuck in the 80s every single time I see a picture of her. I imagine what she would look like and dress like now (23 years later). Since pictures mean a lot to me, I wonder what a current picture of us would look like. I wonder how much different my life would have turned out. I wonder what kind of person I would have became. What kind of friends I would have had.

January and April are usually exceptionally hard months for me. I know, I know, exactly what you're thinking.. HOW can it be hard for you when you never even knew her?
People ALWAYS tell me they're "sorry" when they hear my unfortunate news (thanks, but that is the most awkward thing you could say to me). So, I respond with... "It would have been a lot more difficult if I would have known her." Thats the biggest lie I tell people. I mean, sure, it would have been hard knowing her. BUT, the fact that I never knew her is one of the hardest things. So, instead of dealing with people I just lie. Depressing, I know. But, there IS a plus side. "A plus side?", you say, "How can there be a plus side?"
My thoughtful mother left me a couple of notes in a book once she started getting sick. Some I will never tell people. But, the really adorable stuff I can't keep to myself.

"I love you and your father so much and sometimes it's hard for me to understand why my time came so early. But God has a purpose for everyone and everything - remember that."

I have it memorized. THIS is how I know what a great big beautiful heart my mom had. THIS is how I have a plus side and THIS is how I love her without even remembering a thing about her. It's one of my all-time favorite quotes. HOW can someone going through so much indescribable, unbelievable, pain think as positive as that? I know very, very, few people that would be as optimistic as she was.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I'm thankful she taught me that. So, whenever I have questions regarding how different my life would have been with her, I remember this quote. I remember everything DOES happen for a reason. I remember God DOES have a purpose for me.

I think the greatest compliment I can have is being told I look, or act, like my mom. It's honestly an honor and I can't imagine receiving a better compliment.

I miss you every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what could have been. Thank you for teaching me so much more than you ever thought you could. Thank you for being strong for us. Thank you for always listening. Thank you for protecting and watching over me and thank you for your unconditional love at the earliest stage in my life. I couldn't have asked for a stronger and more beautiful mother. I couldn't ask for a better guardian angel. You mean the world to me.

Tru..st? No, thanks!

Thank you. Now my trust in people has decreased severely, even more so.
I've always had a hard time putting my faith and trust into people. I mean, lets be real, most people really only build you up and let you down anyway. That's not negative. It's only the truth. I can be positive about the situation. You build me up, let me down, and I learn.
I learn to trust even few people.
New York City taught me that too. So, no big, when an actual person does.

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty naive when it comes to the world. I'm twenty-three and feel like I've learned so much but still learn something new every single day. I'm naive in trusting and loving.

This is where the love part comes into play of my blog. It's really hard for me to FALL in love. Loving friends is much easier. Sometimes I say it to people I probably shouldn't. That's why I believe love should be one of those four-letter-sacred-wow you just said that- kinda words. I love you is one of the most over-rated and over-used statements. ever. In fact, it's SO over-used, how do you ever know when someone is being honest about their love? You don't.
That's how trust comes back into play.

Didn't even realize how much the two tie together until now. I mean, of course, I knew they went together. But, they kinda go together like peanut butter and jelly. Like macaroni and cheese. Like Elvis and I.

And so brings me to the "Happy Adoption Day, Elvis" part of my blog.

Two years ago today I met one of my bestfriends. Yes, he is a dog. No, I don't care. I can say that I DO love him. Basically, if there were a dog version of me... he's it. I DO trust him. Trust? How do you trust a dog? Well, I trust that he's not going to bite me. I trust that he loves me back. I trust him everyday of his life. Haha- I sound so crazy for blogging about how I trust and love my dog. But, I have this unbelievable and incredible love for animals. Also, posting a blog without acknowledging that I've had him for two years is incredibly rude.

Hopefully, one day, I can trust and love a HUMAN enough to marry him. Trust and love his family. I have quite a few friends that I do trust and love. However, trusting and loving a guy is different. Mainly because guys that I end up liking eventually leave me hanging out to dry. So, if you're out there, I'm learning.

Why you gotta be so MEAN?

Find a grip and catch ahold of it. I'm about to let you know exactly how I feel if I see one more hateful status about a stranger you don't even know.

I find it absolutely disgusting that a human can judge a particular family and complain about their life on a Facebook status. Especially when this girl doesn't even know these people.
This is when it hit me. Stop judging others. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do my fair share of judging. I don't, however, post it for the public on a social networking site. I try to keep my judging to myself and my close friends.
Everyone you run into is facing something you know NOTHING about. Everyone has personal problems that they keep personal for a reason. Just because you see a mom with two pregnant teenage girls doesn't mean you know their story. Keep your thoughts to yourself. You have no idea what kind of family situation they live in and, honestly, it's none of your business. Stop judging everyone else's problems and go work on your own. Honey, you aren't perfect. No one is.

You claim to be Christian. Read the Bible and let me know if your Savior judged and publicly humiliated innocent families.

Somebody I used to know

You know that song that will always remind you of that certain person? It's that song that almost (or, in fact, DOES) makes you break down with emotions. You could listen to it for a year and not get sick of it. It makes you miss that person so bad it hurts all over again. As much as you want to stop thinking of them during the song, you just can't seem to shake it. So, for your own sake, when you don't want to feel that way you have to change the track.

If you don't know the feeling I'm talking about then just stop reading now. It's for your own good. There's no use in continuing with wasting your time.

It's my fault. I shouldn't have made a CD for you in the first place. Then I FINALLY got over you. Now I see you're listening to this particular song on Spotify? I can't help but wonder if you get that same feeling I do. Then there's a little part of me that wonders if you're thinking about someone else now. It's only fair if you do, I mean, you've moved on too. Now I miss you all over again.


Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you dear, cause I wish you were here.


Don't get me wrong. I'm completely over you. What you did to me was terrible and I'll never look at people with that same naive feeling again. You screwed me up and helped me all at the same time. I've grown so much because of your selfishness and careless actions. Although you've totally destroyed Vanilla Twilight for me, I relate to other songs I never thought I would now.


You're gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear.
All that's left is a ghost of you.
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart, there's nothing we can do.


Thank you.

I put it down like NYC

A week ago yesterday I traveled to one of those cities you always dreamt of going to as a kid. The city you've only seen in movies, but wish upon every star that you'll eventually get to go someday. The kind of city you knew would change your life forever.

With that said, I had some pretty high expectations for New York City. These expectations have been growing with every year that has passed me by.

I can officially say New York lived above and beyond its expectations. Although, there are a few things I will make more time for on my next trip. I realize you can't see it all in four short days. I also realized tonight (thank you, Tracy:)) that I will see something new every single time I go. BUT, I saw so much. It really is the gorgeous city that never sleeps. My eyes were completely amazed. No, I'm not exaggerating. Every single building is unique and one of a kind. You know how they say everything is bigger and better in Texas? FALSE. Whoever created that statement obviously had never been to the big apple. I saw Central Park (and saw some VERY talented musicians there), the Empire State Building, a Broadway play with Nick Jonas (and I actually SAW Nick Jonas.. haha), Grand Central Station (aka I'm convinced they filmed Harry Potter there and on the Metro One), other things I can't even remember, AND my all-time favorite Times Square!

Imagine a little child going to Disney World/Land for the first time..ever. Imagine a little kid eating ice cream for the first time. Or, you know, when a puppy gets that happy pounce going on? Or when your dad tells you he's taking you to 3 flags (Half the price, half the fun, and half the drive). So we walk into Times Square and basically I was like a little kid. Amazed and in complete awe. I honestly think I lost my breath for a second.

I have a lot of respect for people who live in a huge town like that. I have never seen so many people and been so clueless as to where I was at all times. Also, got a nice workout in every single day by just walking.


Checking NYC off the bucket list.
Now, I just have to get on over to the West coast. :)

All my love. ALWAYS.

I'm cleaning my room and sorting through a box full of things from the old Jeep.

I always find little notes from Aunt Ruth laying around. She always sent them in the mail and I would hold onto them because I KNEW times would get rough once she was gone, couldn't bring myself to throw them in the trash cause they meant something and there were so many. I LOVE that I find them. I usually find them when i'm having a bad day or I need a pick-me-up. It's kind of like God is reminding me that she loved me so much and she's looking down over me.

So, anyway, I found one in the box from the Jeep. In this particular one she wrote several verses and sentences all around the envelope. I almost wish there was a date somewhere because I have no idea what year this came from, but it reads:

"Megan, God has made you special. All my love always - Aunt Ruth

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you. Joshua 1:5

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and I will listen to you, you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11"

She was pretty good about knowing verses, but I went ahead and opened her bible. As I opened it I down-poured with emotions. The smell of Aunt Ruth was sealed inside the bible case. I have grown further and further from God and no one would be more disappointed in me than Aunt Ruth. I need to get back to where I was. As I turned to Joshua the paragraph was underlined. As I turned to Jeremiah this paragraph was also underlined. Most of her bible has very detailed explanations of what she believed or underlines on certain verses. I know I found these verses for a reason. It's just what I needed.

I hate that I've grown so far from the Lord. I hate that I don't pray except when I need something. I hate that I don't go to church because I can't make time. It's like a friendship that I feel like I'm failing at. I vow to try harder... starting right now.


As long as I'm living...

Hey kid, you've got a lot of potential.

My precious baby brother, a photo by megan hunter☮ on Flickr.

It's honestly amazing how much my baby brother has grown up in three years. I can't even explain it. It brings a tear to my eye knowing i've been the lucky one to watch this precious boy grow up. I have never had a feeling like this. I can't wait to watch him go to kindergarten, get his first girlfriend, go to his first dance, graduate from 8th grade, get his first car, graduate from high school and see what he makes of his beautiful life. I have never been more proud. It's only just begun for this kid and he has no idea whats in store for him and the amazing things he's going to accomplish.
PLUS, when I become an old dog lady and don't want to go live in a retirement home I'm going to make him take care of me. ;D

Money, Models and Motivation

Shame on me.
I'm supposed to be saving my money for New York, NOT online shopping.
Well, I didn't buy anything... yet. I like to leave my items in my online bag and wait a couple days. The feeling of sadness overwhelms me when I lose an article of clothing because they have run out of the exact one I chose. Now, I'm happy I didn't make that $60 purchase on three items two days ago.
Another thing, I see how cute a shirt looks in the picture on a really pretty model and hope it'll look the same on me. I should know better. I DO know better. But, I can hope I wake up looking like a model one day... right? Eh..

Anyway, I was feeling depressed about my dress, from Pacsun, that drifted away from my online bag and started looking at the other dresses. You should know, in advance, that none of them stacked up so I still remain short a dress in my online bag. So, anyway, here I am looking away. When *BAM* it hit me like a sack of bricks. How long am I going to keep putting off working out? Am I going to ever start running again? Where is my motivation I had in high school? Oh yeah... I don't have a coach pushing me and giving me new PR records to hit. Somewhere, deep down in the pit of me, I KNOW it's there somewhere. I just need to find it again. SO, maybe I should "online shop" without really ever buying anything. Then I will remember if I worked out and had a flat stomach or no love-handles I could actually wear that cute little shirt the model has on.

It's worth a shot anyway. Nothing else has been working for me.

As soon as I finish typing this I'm going to write a nice inspirational quote on my mirror. I always have had those on my mirrors, but since i've moved I haven't really felt inspired to write one. The time has come.

Live life. No regrets.

Take chances.
You're going to get fired and you're going to get a new job. It'll happen again and you'll get another job.
You're going to fall in love and get hurt. You'll love again AND get hurt again.
You'll lose friends and gain even better ones. After all, the ones you lost obviously weren't great friends to begin with. If they were, life will bring you together again.
Death is the worst thing I can even imagine. It's going to take the ones you love. The ones you thought would be alive forever. You'll be fine, because they're watching over you. Love them while they're here with you.
You'll make mistakes. Go ahead and make them. You'll learn.
Take lots of pictures and make a ton of memories.
You're going to change your major, drop out, go back and change your major again. It cost you, but you learned.
Run. You'll love it and make friends you'll keep forever.
High school is high school. Enjoy it. The real world honestly isn't like that at all.
Don't let "your mama" jokes hurt you. They don't mean it.
Take risks and learn to have no regrets.
Moms right, everything DOES happen for a reason.
You're going to love animals. They love you when no one else does. No matter what you've done to them.
Your dad is going to push you out into the world. Thank him for it. You probably wouldn't have moved out and learned more about yourself.
You're going to find out what you're good at. Don't let it go. You'll love it. You were born for this.

If I would have told myself all these things when I was young then I wouldn't have grown up as innocent as I did. I wouldn't have gotten hurt. I wouldn't have lived life. I wouldn't have found myself.

It's pretty great how I lost a friendship because I'm so "immature" (sarcasm).
I've found myself. I know who I want to be and what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't rely on my family for every dime. For that I'm so thankful for my dad and how he raised me. But, that's another post in itself.

laughing gas doesn't make you laugh

I went to the dentist today. I really have never been a big fan. I got some laughing gas, but my mouth has been numb half the day and sore the other half. When I was little I was an avid sweet eater and a terrible brusher. Scratch that, i'm still an avid sweet eater and am only a little bit better at brushing my teeth mainly because I'm terrified my teeth will turn out crooked and disgusting. The funny thing is i'm typing this with rice krispies treats and fruit roll-ups sitting next to me. welp. so. theres that. Also, *notedx2* laughing gas does NOT make you laugh. It does make things easier, but the name is so deceiving.

Out with the old

In with the new.

Thanks for reminding me I had this, bestfriend! :)

Debating on if I should remove all of the old posts or not. Kind of embarrassing/depressing.