ESWIE & ATS

It's been a long time since music has made me feel the way I felt tonight. I sound like a typical dramatic girl, but the last time I remember this feeling was when I listened to Lovedrug in 2008. I just can't even explain it. I mean, sure, I listen to music and love it. Most music doesn't make me feel like it's changed my life in the first listen, though.

I remember when I listened to this song in 08. I just sat there in awe, had a few emotions, jumped up, got in my Jeep, drove to Best Buy and purchased this entire album.

Lovedrug. Everything Starts Where It Ends.

Cartel has been my favorite band since 2007ish. When I say favorite band, I mean it. When I heard they were coming out with a new album I almost lost it. Tonight, I was anxiously waiting for Cartel's new album, Collider, to release on iTunes. I had pre-ordered it just hours before. I got an email that said it released and I treaded downstairs with my Mac and all electronic devices as fast as I could. So, I'm sitting here on my living room floor listening to the new album on repeat while uploading the new songs to every device I have. A Thousand Suns comes on and I'm overcome by this familiar feeling. I can't even move to the next new song, because I have to keep listening. An hour later, I've successfully listened to every song once and I keep coming back to A Thousand Suns. Six times, in fact. I wish I could link the song on here, but it's not on youtube. Don't just go look up the lyrics. It's not the same. The sound makes the song, not just the lyrics. Go buy their album, you won't be disappointed. 

It's good to know I'm growing older but music is still changing my life.

It'll be alright

It's been a while.

You know when you feel like everyones moving on except for you? Like you're standing still and the world is spinning faster than ever? Like everything seems to be going wrong? I was packing to go see Tayloh in Norman tomorrow and THIS song came on:

.

Everything felt alright in the world again. Cliché? Maybe. 

But seriously...

When you feel like everyones changing and you're standing still

When you feel like everything's going wrong

When you feel like things can't get any worse

When you feel like you'll never move on

When you feel like everyone else is growing up...

the sun ALWAYS ends up rising.

It'll be alright.

Logo, Name, Facebook (Photo career)

When people tell me I'm good at my photography it's hard for me to agree.
It's hard for me to tell people I'm good.
BUT when I look back down my photography path I realize I've come SO far.
Then I can say I know I'm better than when I started.

Changes are literally coming sooner than what ya'll think.
Keep your eyes peeled.

-Logo
-Name
& Facebook are in the works.

Wouldn't be where I am without some of my family and some VERY good friends. Friends who believe in me and what I do, because, like I said, it's hard for me to be conceded in what I do.

destined for greatness

I always knew I was destined for greatness. Stop laughing. Everyone feels that way at least once in their life, right? Pretty embarrassing, but growing up I always thought I would be famous for something. I thought I would become an actress or musician. I dreamed of it.

I tried drama in high school. I'm pretty dramatic, but when it comes to acting in front of an audience.. I croak. I'm the loud kid in front of familiar people, but when I get around a group of people I've never met or barely know I shut down and become a totally different person.
I tried piano when I was growing up and quickly lost interest. I took guitar lessons while in high school and realized I have no sense of rhythm. That would explain why I sucked at the trumpet in middle school and junior high.
I always thought I was a pretty artsy person. I tried art in high school. I sucked. Plain and simple. I can draw stick people sitting on a bench next to the ocean with a tree and the sunshine. That's about it. Basic or DYI step-by-step instructions.
I was never very good in school. If I was graded on my loud mouth or my social skills, I would have done a lot better. I was always the kid that got the comment on their progress report about how I should basically shut my mouth during class. It got me in a lot of trouble growing up. Almost every report card I would get the same speech from my dad. "Megan, your grades will stick with you forever. Not all of your friends will." It was always hard for me to put school work before my social life.

When I started taking pictures I felt like I didn't even have to try. Some people feel that way about acting, art, music or tests. I feel this way about photography. I honestly feel like I could point the camera at the ugliest thing and somehow make it look beautiful. I'm usually not so conceited as I sound right now, I promise. It's hard for me to say that I know I'm good at something. I haven't decided if I found out what it is earlier or later than most people. It took me several years (even after my Taylor Swift picture was published) to decide that I'm good at what I do. I still have SO much learning to do, but it's something that I like teaching myself rather than someone else teaching me. I can finally say I'm proud of myself and how far I've come with my photography.

You can view my photography on my Flickr by clicking HERE. Or to the left on my blog at anytime. :)

In 2006 I had a point and shoot Pentax. I was obsessed with photography. I had never even used a camera with a detachable lens. 

2006

2006

In 2007 I learned I loved to shoot bands the most. I love the lights and the fans I can capture in photographs. I love everything about photographing bands doing their thing. Maybe it's because I secretly want to be famous. Maybe it's because I tried the whole music thing and have a different kind of respect for them. Who knows.

2007

In 2008 my Pentax broke and I got my first point and shoot Cannon. It was pretty cool. 

In December 2009 I got my Nikon D60 for Christmas. My first professional camera. I would photograph anything and everything. I finally started using it to capture beautiful people.  I finally learned how to edit, but not the good kind of editing. I was a total N00B and used Picnik ALOT. I'm actually embarrassed by how terrible some of my editing turned out. I'm embarrassed that I thought I had to do alot of editing to cover up stuff. There is so much beauty in photographs that are totally unedited, to me. You can only use photoshop so much before your picture starts to look FAKE. and who likes a fake? 

2009

2009

2009

2009 ^I'm also embarrassed by my logo in the corner. Seriously? Peace?

2009

2009

2009

In August 2009 I got my second lens. I mainly use it for Thunder basketball games and concerts. This was the first picture I took with it:

2009

In 2010 my first photograph was published in a major magazine. Most of you should know US Weekly. They came out with a Special Edition Taylor Swift magazine and my picture was a spread towards the beginning of the magazine. This is when I fell in love with my flickr account. If I wouldn't of had my picture posted then the lady from US Weekly would never have messaged me. I would have never gotten published and wouldn't have been compensated. It was a major milestone in my photography career. 

2010

2010

2010

2010

2010

2010

In 2011 I really started photographing people more. I dragged Taylor around on several photoshoots. I don't think she hated it. Also, it helped me get a little bossy. In the beginning of a shoot it's hard for me to boss someone around and tell them to pose a certain way. After a couple pictures of them not doing what I'm imagining I start to get strict on exactly how they pose. :)

2011

2011

2011

2011

2011

Brings me to 2012. My variety of people I photograph is growing. This flashback amazes me with how far I've come. I was once just a 17 year old with a camera. I had no idea what was in store for me. I've grown, but still have alot more to accomplish. 

2012

2012

2012

2012

2012

2012

2012

2012

If you've stuck it out this long and read my whole post, I applaud you. No, seriously. Thank you. I'm moving forward with my photography and want to someday call this my career. I've been thinking of names for a business for a year now, so if you have any ideas... SHOOT them my way.

get it? eh? eh?

okay, I'll stop wasting your time now. 

:)

Lindseys photoshoot 6/16/12

Yesterday I took Lindsey to my dads property in Deer Creek to shoot some photos of her. It's been a while since I had my last photoshoot with a friend and I honestly missed it.
Everytime I get ready to leave my house for a photoshoot I almost forget something. I think out loud to myself: "Wow, Megan, you aren't ready to be a photographer. What were you thinking?"
Then I do my photoshoot and come home and can't wait to start editing. I think I edit too fast because I'm too excited to share my pictures with everyone, which could be a problem in the long run for me.
Then I post them and go back through all the pictures and I think to myself: "I'm ready. I've never been more ready."
Anyway. Here are some shots from yesterday. It's so hard for me to choose just a few to upload, but the rest are located on my Flickr or my Facebook. Click either link to view them. Of course, Flickr has the better resolution. As always.

Lindsey was so easy to shoot. She is basically my little sister separated at birth. She loves the camera and it's a mutual love. I only had to throw out a few pictures. She's a pro!

Without further adieu..

and my two favorites: 

Sickly.

Being sick is literally disgusting.
I am trapped. Stuck. Stomach bugs are no fun and I think this is the first one I've had since I can even remember. It's like I'm wasting my whole day away laying around because I feel like if I move I will get sick again. I hate this. I haven't eaten in 24 hours because I don't feel like it. I haven't moved from my apartment in 10 hours. To top it off, it's Friday. No, Rebecca Black, I do not "gotta get down on Friday" because I can't.

Things I have done today:
1) Got up at 620 and went to work.
2) Threw up my guts.
3) Left work at 11.
4) Deposited my check.
5) Napped for five hours.
6) Thought about how the Wrangler is still leaking. Looked it up on the Wrangler Forums and might have found a solution.
7) Pottied Elvis (This was a huge deal for me to even get up to go downstairs. Judge away.)
8) Caught up on all my Hulu shows.
9) Watched a movie on Netflix.
10) Got some more music from the great website my bestfriend showed to me and made playlists that are titled "Jeepin'" and "SUMMA 12. wadduppp"

So. theres. that.
Can this please be over by tomorrow? I don't want to waste my Saturday away too.
Also, heres hoping I sleep tonight.

"You were putting on a show, so I'd rather be alone"

We Are The In Crowd is my new favorite musical obsession.
Helping me get over things.
Helping me move forward.
Helping me realize I deserve better.

Dear Mom,

Here it comes. My "Dear Mom," post. All the things I would love to tell my beautiful mother. All the things I pray she knows. All the things I usually try to keep to myself. Lies I tell people and wishes I have.

My beautiful and caring mother passed away before I even celebrated my first birthday. The anniversary of her death was last week. I was lucky enough to be in Arkansas surrounded around people who have memories with her and I visited her grave. I've never been able to do that on April 15th. It really helped being around so many people who loved her.

I never knew I could love (and miss) someone without remembering them. Then, I think about my mom and I realize I do. When I was growing up, I would often hear people tell me I looked (and acted) just like my Mother. I still do every now and then. I start to hear it less now, though, because fewer people knew my mom. My greatest fear is when everyone who knew my mom joins her in heaven. What happens when I have questions about her? How will they get answered? They won't. That's what I'm dreading the most.

I'm stuck in the 80s every single time I see a picture of her. I imagine what she would look like and dress like now (23 years later). Since pictures mean a lot to me, I wonder what a current picture of us would look like. I wonder how much different my life would have turned out. I wonder what kind of person I would have became. What kind of friends I would have had.

January and April are usually exceptionally hard months for me. I know, I know, exactly what you're thinking.. HOW can it be hard for you when you never even knew her?
People ALWAYS tell me they're "sorry" when they hear my unfortunate news (thanks, but that is the most awkward thing you could say to me). So, I respond with... "It would have been a lot more difficult if I would have known her." Thats the biggest lie I tell people. I mean, sure, it would have been hard knowing her. BUT, the fact that I never knew her is one of the hardest things. So, instead of dealing with people I just lie. Depressing, I know. But, there IS a plus side. "A plus side?", you say, "How can there be a plus side?"
My thoughtful mother left me a couple of notes in a book once she started getting sick. Some I will never tell people. But, the really adorable stuff I can't keep to myself.

"I love you and your father so much and sometimes it's hard for me to understand why my time came so early. But God has a purpose for everyone and everything - remember that."

I have it memorized. THIS is how I know what a great big beautiful heart my mom had. THIS is how I have a plus side and THIS is how I love her without even remembering a thing about her. It's one of my all-time favorite quotes. HOW can someone going through so much indescribable, unbelievable, pain think as positive as that? I know very, very, few people that would be as optimistic as she was.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I'm thankful she taught me that. So, whenever I have questions regarding how different my life would have been with her, I remember this quote. I remember everything DOES happen for a reason. I remember God DOES have a purpose for me.

I think the greatest compliment I can have is being told I look, or act, like my mom. It's honestly an honor and I can't imagine receiving a better compliment.

I miss you every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what could have been. Thank you for teaching me so much more than you ever thought you could. Thank you for being strong for us. Thank you for always listening. Thank you for protecting and watching over me and thank you for your unconditional love at the earliest stage in my life. I couldn't have asked for a stronger and more beautiful mother. I couldn't ask for a better guardian angel. You mean the world to me.